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It’s Hard Being Holey 

 March 25, 2014

By  Leslie Williams

18686494_sGlennon Doyle Melton’s book, “Carry On, Warrior – Thoughts on Life Unarmed” really made me laugh out loud.  The following quote really popped out at me: “My experience has been that even with God, life is hard. It’s hard just because it’s hard being holey.”

The term “holeyness” simply means an “imperfect life” which we’re all probably very familiar with.

In counseling sessions, one of the most repeated statements I’ve  heard goes something like this “I stopped going to church because everybody there thinks they’re perfect.”  While some churchgoers may think they’re perfect, indeed, many experience what Ms. Melton shares in her book – an emptiness that goes unnoticed or unsaid because of a false front they’ve erected.  Instead of “perfection”, they are “holey” (yep – the “fabric of life” is full of holes!)  Not being honest or real fools no one.

All of us deal with this emptiness.  We may try to fill it with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping and maybe even how many friends we’ve accumulated on social media channels. This becomes our “front” or “wall” to hide ourselves but all of our efforts fall flat because part of that emptiness continues to follow us around.  And knowing that others feel this vacuum can be very comforting.

Do we really have to make it our goal to fill that empty spot or can we decide to trust God to be our “Filler”?

Once we come to know Jesus as our Savior and have the Holy Spirit as our guide, it’s important to make time everyday to commune with the Lord.  He longs for this.

What can we do if, in spite of having a close relationship with Jesus we still experience a void from time to time?  Personally, I think it’s pretty normal.

What is God showing us?  This discovery and understanding comes through reading God’s Word consistently.  During those empty times, it’s the perfect opportunity to get alone with God.  Go for a walk alone and meet with Him or pick a time of day to talk to Him about our day.

When the evil one tries to loop past mistakes in your head, rebuke him in Jesus’ name and then move forward.

When we share our weaknesses, it may feel as if we laying ourselves bare (and we are!), however, there will be some who will be helped by what you share.  If we’re afraid to show the “real” us,  we will continue to feel disconnected because no one truly knows who we are.

I have to tell you, though, once we make those trusted connections, friendships blossom and we’re able to serve, minister and share our holeyness with others.

Leslie Williams


Leslie Sansone Williams is a #1 International Best Selling author of "Legal Break-In" and the author of the "Paralegal Career Secrets BlackBook" (pdf). She is the creator of the Paralegal Inner Circle Class, Cover Letter Secrets Class & Job Hunt Kit Class. Her podcast, Paralegal Coffee Talk is available on Spotify. Leslie shares her Paralegal career knowledge via regular videos on the Paralegal Coffee Talk page on Facebook. Leslie has 31+ years experience in the paralegal, publishing & marketing careers. She has worked in the following areas of law: condemnation litigation, probate, estate planning, personal injury (catastrophic and medical malpractice), administrative law, franchise law, professional regulation, zoning, automobile dealership franchise law and business litigation.

Leslie Williams

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